I would be thrilled to report that I loved “Plankton: The Movie,” a “SpongeBob SquarePants” spinoff film. I'd love to say that it is the cinematic hit of the spring. Alas, I cannot.

I’m not going to even attempt to discern why Netflix stakes claim to SpongeBob SquarePants spinoff movies like this new one, Plankton: The Movie, or last year’s Saving Bikini Bottom ...

Sheldon Plankton is the tiny, one-eyed villain from SpongeBob SquarePants with evil plans for world domination, most of which rely on stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula from Mr Krabs.